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PRAYERS
FOR MEDITATION-II
 Vajrasattva,
sole deity, Master,
You sit on a full-moon lotus-cushion of white light
In the hundred-petalled full bloom of youth.
Think of
me, Vajrasattva,
You who remain unmoved within the manifest display
That is Mahamudra, pure bliss-emptiness.
Listen up, old bad-karma Patrul,
You dweller-in-distraction.
For ages
now you've been
Beguiled, entranced, and fooled by appearances.
Are you aware of that? Are you?
Right this very instant, when you're
Under the spell of mistaken perception
You've got to watch out.
Don't let yourself get carried away by this fake and empty life.
Your mind
is spinning around
About carrying out a lot of useless projects:
It's a waste! Give it up!
Thinking about the hundred plans you want to accomplish,
With never enough time to finish them,
Just weighs down your mind.
You're completely distracted
By all these projects, which never come to an end,
But keep spreading out more, like ripples in water.
Don't be a fool: for once, just sit tight.
Listening
to the teachings—you've already heard hundreds of teachings,
But when you haven't grasped the meaning of even one teaching,
What's the point of more listening?
Reflecting
on the teachings—even though you've listened,
If the teachings aren't coming to mind when needed,
What's the point of more reflection? None.
Meditating
according to the teachings—
If your meditation practice still isn't curing
The obscuring states of mind—forget about it!
You've added
up just how many mantras you've done—
But you aren't accomplishing the kyerim visualizatiion.
You may get the forms of deities nice and clear—
But you're not putting an end to subject and object.
You may tame what appear to be evil spirits and ghosts,
But you're not training the stream of your own mind.
Your four fine sessions of sadhana practice,
So meticulously arranged—
Forget about them.
When you're
in a good mood,
Your practice seems to have lots of clarity—
But you just can't relax into it.
When you're depressed,
Your practice is stable enough
But there's no brilliance to it.
As for awareness,
You try to force yourself into a rigpa-like state,
As if stabbing a stake into a target!
When those
yogic positions and gazes keep your mind stable
Only by keeping mind tethered—
Forget about them!
Giving high-sounding
lectures
Doesn't do your mind-stream any good.
The path of analytical reasoning is precise and acute—
But it's just more delusion, good for nothing goat-shit.
The oral instructions are very profound
But not if you don't put them into practice.
Reading over and over those dharma texts
That just occupy your mind and make your eyes sore—
Forget about it!
You beat
your little damaru drum—ting, ting—
And your audience thinks it's charming to hear.
You're reciting words about offering up your body,
But you still haven't stopped holding it dear.
You're making your little cymbals go cling, cling—
Without keeping the ultimate purpose in mind.
All this dharma-practice equipment
That seems so attractive—
Forget about it!
Right now, those students are all studying so very hard,
But in the end, they can't keep it up.
Today, they
seem to get the idea,
But later on, there's not a trace left.
Even if one of them manages to learn a little,
He rarely applies his "learning" to his own conduct.
Those elegant dharma disciples—
Forget about them!
This year,
he really cares about you,
Next year, it's not like that.
At first, he seems modest,
Then he grows exalted and pompous.
The more you nurture and cherish him,
The more distant he grows.
These dear friends
Who show such smiling faces to begin with—
Forget about them!
Her smile
seems so full of joy—
But who knows if that's really the case?
One time, it's pure pleasure,
Then it's nine months of mental pain.
It might be fine for a month,
But sooner or later, there's trouble.
People teasing; your mind embroiled—
Your lady-friend—
Forget about her!
These endless
rounds of conversation
Are just attachment and aversion—
It's just more goat-shit, good for nothing at all.
At the time it seems marvelously entertaining,
But really, you're just spreading around stories about other people's
mistakes.
Your audience seems to be listening politely,
But then they grow embarrassed for you.
Useless talk that just make you thirsty—
Forget about it!
Giving teachings
on meditation texts
Without yourself having
Gained actual experience through practice,
Is like reciting a dance-manual out loud
And thinking that's the same as actually dancing.
People may be listening to you with devotion,
But it just isn't the real thing.
Sooner or later, when your own actions
Contradict the teachings, you'll feel ashamed.
Just mouthing
the words,
Giving dharma explanations that sound so eloquent—
Forget about it!
When you don't have a text, you long for it;
Then when you've finally gotten it, you hardly look at it.
The number of pages seems few enough,
But it's a bit hard to find time to copy them all.
Even if you copied down all the dharma texts on earth,
You wouldn't be satisfied.
Copying down texts is a waste of time
(Unless you get paid)—
So forget about it!
Today, they're
happy as clams—
Tomorrow, they're furious.
With all their black moods and white moods,
People are never satisfied.
Or even if they're nice enough,
They may not come through when you really need them,
Disappointing you even more.
All this politeness, keeping up a
Courteous demeanor—
Forget about it!
Worldly and religious work
Is the province of gentlemen.
Patrul, old boy—that's not for you.
Haven't you
noticed what always happens?
An old bull, once you've gone to the trouble of borrowing him for
his
services,
Seems to have absolutely no desire left in him at all—
(Except to go back to sleep).
Be like that—desireless.
Just sleep, eat, piss, shit.
There's nothing else in life that has to be done.
Don't get involved with other things:
They're not the point.
Keep a low profile,
Sleep.
In the triple
universe
When you're lower than your company
You should take the low seat.
Should you happen to be the superior one,
Don't get arrogant.
There's no absolute need to have close friends;
You're better off just keeping to yourself.
When you're without any worldly or religious obligations,
Don't keep on longing to acquire some!
If you let go of everything—
Everything, everything—
That's the real point!
I pay homage
to the guru.
Shakyamuni, Victorious One.
Supreme guide of the realm for this fortunate aeon,
Sons of the Victorious one,
Assembly of noble Bodhisattvas who tame sentient beings,
Lord guru, matchless savior of beings in the dark age,
The three Roots and oath-bound Dharma guardians—
Again and again, I ask from my heart,
Recalling you with longing and one-pointed mind—
Please turn your attention toward me.
Take hold of me with your loving-kindness And with the power of
your
unhindered compassion
Grant your blessings that my thoughts and aims
be carried out in accord with Dharma.
Through past
acts, not without merit,
I have obtained this precious human birth.
Through past merit, not slight,
I have met the sublime Dharma.
Accepted by the guru, I was able to obtain empowerments,
Blessings, and the essential instructions—
All this wealth I now hold in my hands.
But my mind,
like a babbling monkey, falls under the sway
Of the enticing, deceptive demon of distraction
And I cannot take advantage of the wealth that is my own.
Thus, this free, well-favored human birth
And the lama's teaching are both wasted.
Now I am
at a turning point:
All the teachings that I've asked for,
All I've received, are like a myth.
My body has the appearance of a practitioner,
And I have a practitioner's conceit;
My mind cannot fathom the true teachings.
Lacking even
a trace of common Dharma, much less holy Dharma,
The sixteen rules for ordinary social behavior
Are just something that I've heard of.
Seeing myself behave badly, I'm without shame;
Seen by others, I'm unembarrassed;
My bond to the teachings is short as a marmot's tail.
Unable to
practice properly true Dharma's ten virtuous deeds,
Harboring sectarian bias toward the one Buddha's teachings,
I slander the teachings and great beings
A gather up bad karma.
Based on Dharma
I carry a great weight of evil deeds.
The more
teaching I've received,
The more my vision of myself inflates,
Though intellectual analyses cannot penetrate
The deep meaning of the teachings.
With conceit, I think, "I keep the Pratimoksha disciplines!"
But the four dharma practices have been lost without a trace.
With conceit, I think, "I posses the precious Bodhisattva training!"
But the Four Boundless Ones are just like pictures of a lamp.
With conceit, I think, "I keep the Secret Mantrayana samayas!"
But, not respecting the first root transgression,
I become careless about all the rest.
I can glibly
explain the Four Thoughts That Turn the Mind to Dharma,
But my attachment to phenomena
Shows that my own mind has not truly changed.
Though I rely on a teacher, respect and devotion slowly ebb away;
Instead of having pure perception, I have wrong views,
And see the guru as my equal.
Love and
respect toward my vajra friends weakens;
Unable to endure a few harsh words, I complain constantly.
Lacking thorough training in bodhicitta,
The love and compassion that comes about
From seeing all beings of the six realms as my parents
Disappears like mist.
Although I act as if I practice the paths of kyerim and dzogrim,
I cannot even cope with ordinary endless delusion.
I recognize that the ultimate teaching of sutra and tantra
Is emptiness, but can't make use of that recognition;
My mindstream stays hard as horn.
When I practice
remaining in mind's true condition
I am without stability, yet I mouth off about the profound view
And toss cause and effect to the winds.
On the outside—I can give a show of good behavior;
On the inside— desire, attachment, greed rage like fire.
Though my body remains in isolated mountain retreat,
My mind wanders into town constantly, night and day.
Without enjoying a real measure of certainty in myself,
Thinking to act for other's benefit is just a fairytale.
Although it is impossible that the Three Jewels betray me,
Due to my weak devotion, I fear I will betray myself.
Thus, although
I am without the wrong view
Of not believing in the teacher and the holy Dharma,
In these bad times we sentient beings
Are busily perfecting our bad karma,
Knowing, heedlessly, falling under the sway of unawareness;
Failing to maintain mindfulness, we suffer a great loss.
When I examine
myself, I see
That everything I've done has only added on to my confusion,
That all my thinking has been stained
By the obscuring emotions and by grasping.
Not seeing that even my virtuous acts
Are polluted with negativities
Where else is there to end up but in the lower realms?
As for the way I behave and what I've done,
Bringing these to mind, I am sickened.
Looking to others, I am only more discouraged;
There are no friends to benefit and ease my mind.
If I cannot take care of myself now,
Others cannot give me refuge when hope is exhausted
And I'm in the hands of the messengers of the Lord of Death.
To wait for a rescue that can never come,
Isn't that self-deception?
Thus, with
shame and remorse recognizing my own errors,
Whatever offenses against Dharma have occurred,
Whatever samaya transgressions and violations,
I won't try to conceal from those with wisdom vision.
From the bottom of my heart, I confess;
With your compassion, please endure me.
Be my refuge from the danger of the precipitous, errant path;
Grant the deliverance of finding the perfect, liberating path.
My whole life has been spent practicing this and practicing that
With nothing in my hands to show for it,
No attainment.
From now on, avoiding the miserable path of knowing much,
And missing the one thing I need
Why not go on the path of knowing the one thing that frees all?
Certain,
unfailing hope, sole, supreme Lord upon whom I rely,
Root guru who combines all refuges in one,
I supplicate you with devotion and one pointed mind;
Supreme refuge, lord of greatest kindness,
Take hold of me with your compassion.
Grant your blessing that I be able to see my own faults.
Grant your blessing that I have no wish to see the faults of others.
Grant your blessing that evil, cruel, and vicious thoughts be pacified.
Grant your blessing that wholesome thoughts arise deep from within.
Grant your blessing that desire may lessen and contentment increase.
Grant your blessing that I remember the uncertainty of the time
of
death.
Grant your blessing that I be unconcerned at the time of death.
Grant your blessing that I develop trust in Dharma.
Grant your blessing that I practice impartial pure perception.
Grant your blessing that I develop unfabricated devotion and respect.
Grant your blessing that I persevere, seeing that I have so little
time
left.
Grant your blessing that I be able to establish Dharma as my ultimate
innermost goal.
Grant your blessing that I free my mind stream the innermost practice.
Grant your blessing that I have no obstacles to practice
Grant your blessing that the fruit of my practice may ripen quickly.
Grant your blessing that all conduct with those with whom I have
a
karmic link may be meaningful.
Grant your blessing that the duality of hope and fear be extinguished.
Grant your blessing that I see nondual wakefulness.
Grant your blessing that I recognize my own innate wakefulness.
Grant your blessing that I hold the dharmakaya citadel.
Grant your blessing that I gain the great effortless certainty.
By means
of the great weapon,
Indestructible primordial wakeful awareness,
May the void life-force of samsara and nirvana
Both be severed, at once.
Then, in the unending great bliss of Nyema's feast
May we always enjoy the activity
That is beyond joining and parting.
In the pervasive space of evenness,
Even the word "suffering" does not exist—
So who ought to be striving for happiness?
In the Kingdom of Samantabhadra
Happiness and suffering are of one taste;
Without grasping, they liberate of themselves.
May I attain Samantabhadra's kingdom in this very life!
Written by H.H. Dudjom Rinpoche, Jigdral Yeshe Dorje (1904-1988)
Colophon
This is a supplication, confession of faults, and an aspiration-prayer
combined in one.
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